1. |
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2. |
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Bleed with me, baby
though I'm frightened by it
I've been aching to
finally break in two
won't you help me try
Bleed with me, baby
Come and spill your need
May the openness of our brokenness finally set us free
Come and bleed with me
And I don't need you to promise
that you'll stay forevermore
or even love me
I just wanna find someone
who is not afraid to feel
or, better, who's afraid and feels anyway
Bleed with me, baby
Let's not turn away
What if there could be pleasure in
letting the pain finally have its say
Bleed with me, baby
Let's not stop it now
We can pull off the bandage
Examine the damage
and let it spill out
Oh
I don't really believe in a past life
But some of these scars seem to ancient
to be only mine
At the same time, I'm bruised
Like I got beaten up just yesterday
I'm not healing
I'm just lying in a pool of my feelings
Come on and bleed with me
Bleed with me, baby
though I'm frightened by it
I've been aching to
finally break in two
with you here, I think I can try it
Bleed with me, baby
Come and spill your need
May the openness of our brokenness
be how both of us finally get free
Come on and bleed
Yeah bleed
with me
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3. |
The Beautiful Break (M2)
04:00
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4. |
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5. |
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6. |
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Bleed with me, baby
though I’m frightened by it
I’ve been aching to
finally break in two
won’t you help me try it
Bleed with me, baby
Come and spill your need
Let the openness
of our brokenness
finally set us free
Come and bleed with me
and I don’t need you to promise
that you’ll stay forevermore
or even love me
I just want to find someone
who is not afraid to feel
or, better, who’s afraid and feels anyway —
Bleed with me baby
let’s not turn away
what if there could be pleasure in letting the pain finally have its say
Bleed with me, baby
Let’s not stop it now
We can pull off the bandage, examine the damage, and let it spill out
I don’t really believe in a past life
but some of these scars seem too ancient
to be only mine
at the same time, I'm bruised
like I got beaten up just yesterday
I’m not healing
I’m lying in a pool of my feelings
come on and bleed with me
Bleed with me, baby
though I’m frightened by it
I’ve been aching to
finally break in two
with you here, I think I can try it
Bleed with me, baby
Come and spill your need
May the openness
of our brokenness
be how both of us
finally get free
Come on and bleed
yeah bleed
with me
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7. |
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8. |
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Staying with the trouble
I'm staying with the trouble
Staying with my grief
Even though I feel like running
And I'm staying with these feelings
that are touching me with their fingertips
Staying with the trouble
I'm staying here with you
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9. |
Trouble Version 2 (M3)
01:28
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10. |
Trouble Version 3 (M3)
03:59
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11. |
Shitty Day (M3)
02:37
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My friend’s dog died
My kids moved town
I don’t have a truck, but I bet it’d break down
I’d like to have sex but my hip got hurt
I’d look on the bright side but my eyes don’t work
Times I wish I would rather be dead
If I had a hammer you could hit me on the head
Singing like crap
and my best friend’s crying
We can’t go on but we gotta keep trying
Welcome to your shitty day
Maybe it’s another shitty day
I’m sorry for your shitty day
If it helps, I’m thinking of you
You are not alone in this painful place
I am holding you so close in my heart
I know you wish you didn’t feel this way
But we can sing the music of the broken parts, hey
My husband’s sick, gassed in a war
Hope had feathers and it flew into a glass door
It’s tough, we’re on a weird diet
I can’t shuffle cards cause he needs the house quiet
His brain got broke so it don’t work straight
He thinks I’m a jerk when in fact I’m great
Complaining’s not fair and blaming’s not true
But I gotta tell someone so I’m gonna tell you
Welcome to your shitty day
Maybe it’s another shitty day
I’m sorry for your shitty day
If it helps, I’m thinking of you
You are not alone in this painful place
I am holding you so close in my heart
I know you wish you didn’t feel this way
But we can sing the music of the broken parts, hey
Welcome to your shitty day
You know I love you
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12. |
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I have a friend who rises early in the dark
to build himself a daily fire
He lays the wood in pattern and he gently lights a spark
and wood and spark are beautiful
but it’s gentleness that makes it art
He started in the springtime as a vigil
and I guess you’d say it’s still a vigil now
He still does not know just what he’s doing
But he’s starting to know how
He says
Won’t you come and join me in the darkness
let your grief and worry burn away
cause every face in firelight is beautiful
and every heart is eased before the flames [intro]
o-oh
o-oh
o-oh
o-oh
That same friend has been recording in the car
The car’s a pretty good place to sing
He calls it “Silly Songs With Dale,”
cause, frankly, it’s embarrassing
and though it’s often beautiful
it’s joy that really makes it ring
He says he’s undergoing liberation
and I have to say I’m feeling freer too
I still don’t have a clue what I’m doing
but I’m doing it with you
He says
Won’t you come and join me in the darkness
let your grief and worry burn away
cause every face in firelight is beautiful
and every heart is eased before the flames
o-oh
o-oh
o-oh
o-oh
o-oh
o-oh
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13. |
Beautiful Evidence (M3)
02:33
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Evidence
Beautiful evidence
Such beautiful evidence —
of what I’m not sure,
but that’s what I believe in
Evidence
Beautiful evidence
Such beautiful evidence
I study all the ways you move
I’m ready to discover more
My thesis requires closer observation
“Scientific" is the word for
or “religious" maybe says more
but regardless, in you reposes all the most beautiful
evidence
Beautiful evidence
Such beautiful evidence —
of what I’m not sure,
but that’s what I believe in
Evidence
Beautiful evidence
Such beautiful evidence
I read you like a holy book
You feed me like beauty does
I need you like I need the oxygen I’m breathing
You are the textbook example
You’re the perfect sample
I’d better gather more of your
Exhibit A: your smile
Exhibit B: your face
Exhibit C: the feel of your skin on mine
Figure 1: my heartbeat
Appendix 2: the way you sing
In this article I will detail
evidence
Beautiful evidence
Such beautiful evidence —
of what I’m not sure,
but that’s what I believe in
Evidence
Beautiful evidence
Such beautiful evidence
evidence
Beautiful evidence
Such beautiful evidence —
of what I’m not sure,
but that’s what I believe in
Evidence
Beautiful evidence
Such beautiful evidence
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14. |
Contraption (M3)
03:12
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We are all amateurs here
Trying to play a professional human
Trying to act like we know what we’re doing,
Trying to build something to carry us from A to B
I’ve got some mismatched wheels
and that guy’s got a ski
living in these bodies
that hurt and are afraid
loving other bodies
through all the mess we wake
we’re stronger than we think
and braver than we know
and together is the only way
that this contraption gets to go
Well the problem with society is the people
And the problem with people seems to be our brain
Spinning stories of bitter separation
that you and me and the guy with the ski are not the same
living in these bodies
with all their awkward fluids
loving other bodies
which we cannot stop doing
we’re braver than we think
and freer than we know
and together is the only way this whole contraption
gets to go
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15. |
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16. |
Imprint (M5)
03:35
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you make an imprint on my mind
and it comes out as an energy line
color sparking, marking time
on these pages of mine
field and force
fear and love are doors
that open onto source
so we can hear more
of what we’re here for
put the color by the color by the color
put the color by the color by the color by the color
life grasps us into shapes
we didn’t even know that we could take
sometimes I’m the bark;
other times the clay
even when i’m making i’m also being made
put the color by the color by the color
put the color by the color by the color by the color
put the color by the color by the color by the color
put the color by the color by the color by the color
you are a seed
you are a game
you are a red thread reaching
anywhere else is too far away
stand beside me and we’ll sing it
you are sunlight on the ocean
flashing messages in code
you’re the wavelength of a waterfall
every overtone
every overtone
i am sovereign, which is different from separate
i am listening to the beautiful evidence
i am changing all the time, which makes me think i’m wrong
but it’s just another chorus in my own weird song
put the color by the color by the color
put the color by the color by the color by the color
put the color by the color by the color by the color
put the color by the color by the color by the
color
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17. |
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18. |
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The body and the story of the body
Let the moon shine off your shoulder
Let your belly fill out
Let your arms be inked with flowers
Let yourself not need to know the notes
before you sing out
Let your voice be yours and ours
We are come to sing the praises of the skin that keeps us in
and the guts that tell us who to trust, if we listen
The body knows that it’s the same thing as the soul
holy organs, sacred bones
Tell the body the story of the body
It was flowers who invented love
Is the ability to laugh at pain a sign of having moved through the pain?
A visual vibration response
We are at stake to each other, sporing partners, bound together
Melodious Thunk
Line and color and line and color and line and color and line
What if nothing needed knowing
What if that was how we lived
What if truth is improvised
What if beauty is the only explanation I can give
Just like now is the only time
Let us rise to give our thanks to the hysterics and the hags
Who had wings tattooed across their backs and flew away
The body knows that it’s the only real home
where we come from, where we’re going
The body and the story of the body
The body don’t need
The body don’t need no
The body don’t need no words
The body don’t need no
The body don’t need no words
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19. |
Redo (M8)
02:57
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What would we do with a redo?
Would it be fun to undo our lives?
Where would we go and
who’d we be this time?
Prolly a lot of things that we’d like to have changed
Problem is making sure the good things remain
Cause what if they’re woven
like two strands of the same DNA?
Is there a line that you'd choose to undraw
if every line after that would get wiped off the wall
I’m not sure I could do that —
this life may be trouble but it’s mine
Of course I would like to ease some of the pain
I admit it’s been a shitshow,
all of it though has made us who we are —
and that’s not nothing; we’ve made it pretty far, you and me
We say
“If only”
“I wish I would’ve”
“It could’ve been so much more”
Get a brand new lover, but you’ve got the same old needs
Plant a big new garden, you’ll be pulling out the same old weeds
Would a redo really please us?
Would it feel like a better life?
Or are humans made to always see it greener on the other side?
I'm sure there's a lot of things that you'd like to have changed
Problem is making sure the good things remain
Cause I think they’re woven like two strands of DNA
We say
“If only”
“I wish I would’ve”
“It could’ve been so much more”
Dissatisfaction is a feature, not a bug
But, look, I get to love you —
so I ain't messing with this timeline, thank you very much
Just gonna sit right here
We don't need to do a redo
Let’s just be here and live our lives together
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20. |
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If you put a cork in it, will the bubbles fade?
If you stick a fork in it, are you sure it's made
to seem real,
to dig deep and to feel,
my heart made up.
A fairy tale with a different ending,
mending,
Shattering the ceiling of my mind's pretending.
Dip a toe in, there's nothing lurking.
Working toward a different you.
Youth ain't wasted on the young, it's mine for the taking...
or giving...
Let the tidal flow reach deeper into living.
The unspoken, yet begun; but we still keep looking ever forward for our Truth,
Searching for a different sun, a better mess.
The ocean breathes, the body knows, and turns the planet.
Focus on the present,
and put that futuristic shit to rest.
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21. |
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22. |
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23. |
Soundbasket (M10)
08:44
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24. |
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25. |
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You are the place where I begin
I step into your art and rise again
Your teeth against my skin like knives
You’re drawing blood with every line
This is how we come alive
You are the song within the flames
You are the bell that rings my real name
I look behind your voice and I see
choices that could change my life forever —
the inverse of never
We are the fettered and the free,
your provocation has been spinning me
The prism turns and in its facets,
I become another form of me,
I can choose which me to be
you’ve twisted everything I thought I was
everything I’m frightened of
you’re pushing every boundary, baby —
this splitting skin is painful
feels a lot like dying
And yet I’m finding
that my doubts can be the fuel
Yes I’m finding
I’m allowed to play the fool
And I’m unwinding
into iridescent ribbons of forever —
the inverse of never
You are the place where I begin
I step into your art and rise again
You’re drawing blood with every line
Now’s the only time we live forever
The inverse of never
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Jenny Katz Northampton, Massachusetts
Whatever happens, there will always be music.
Like interviews? Listen to the
Composer Quest interview (Episode 34, "Physical Songwriting with Jenny Katz" or Tour 4, "Songwriting in New England") at www.charliemccarron.com/composer-quest/#episodes
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